Saturday, November 22, 2014

Love Handles: I Don't Need Friends

REMINDER:  Communion is next week, so that means INVITE NIGHT for rGroups Dec 1st-6th.  Group leaders, check your inbox for an email from your pastor about rGroups for next week.



Summary:  Friendship not only helps us show people what Jesus was like, but it also helps us get other people to Him.  There are 4 things that we can learn from the friendship of David and Jonathan that illustrate what a godly friendship looks like today.

Godly friends...

1.  Are Willing to Sacrifice for Others.
Read 1 Samuel 18:1-4.  How did Jonathan sacrifice for David?  What was so significant about the items that Jonathan gave?

-In your friendships, do you give your best to others, or do you just give the leftovers?  Do you sacrifice for your friends, or are you the only person that you sacrifice for?

-Read Philippians 2:4.  What are tangible ways that you can look out for the interests of your friends?

-How does "sacrifice for others" gel with our cultures mindset of "looking out for yourself"?  How could an attitude of sacrifice open up doors to tell others about Jesus?


2.  Come to the Defense of Others.
Read 1 Samuel 19:1-5.  Instead of making himself look good and setting his own life up for success, what did Jonathan do for David?  When is the last time you've set your own agenda and priorities and desires aside for the sake of someone else?

-Read Proverbs 18:24.  Do you have friends in your life that are more like close brothers and sisters?  What did they do to obtain that level of deep friendship?


3.  Encourage Others
Read 1 Samuel 23:15-18.  Why is it a game changer in your life when a friend comes along and encourages you during a hard time?

-Read Romans 15:2.  Spiritually, why is encouragement from close friends so important in your walk with Jesus?  How many times would you have given up or turned around if it weren't for a close godly friend spurring you on?

-What were some difficult times in your life that were made easier by an encouraging friend?  Dealing with death and loss, a set back, bad report, hardship at work or in relationships, etc.


4.  Are Faithful
Read Romans 12:15.  A true, faithful friend is there for you during the ups and downs, highs and lows, good and bad.  Are you a faithful friend?

-Read Proverbs 20:6. How many "friends" do you have in your life?  Now, how many "true" friends do you have?  The ones you can call on for help, encourage you, are always there for you, would give you anything you need?  These verses say your friends may be many, but the true friends are a lot more scarce.

-Read Proverbs 19:22a and 1 Corinthians 13:7.  Simple, basic love isn't enough for a true friendship.  What are the words used to describe a close, godly friendship in these verses?


So why is being a godly, true friend an important thing for you to do?
a.  It shows the world what Jesus was really like.
b.  It helps get other people into a relationship with Him when they realize what a great friend Jesus is for them.



Monday, November 17, 2014

Love Handles: Biblical Friendship

Summary:

True friendship is evidenced when we love our friends enough to have hard conversations with
them about each other's sins, with the goal of helping one another look more like Jesus each
day.

Questions:

• Describe a time in your life when a friend has had to have a hard conversation with you about
sin. What was good or bad about that conversation? What happened in your life as a result of
this conversation? (Or maybe you can share what it looked like for you to have this kind of
conversation with somebody else.)

Read 1 Corinthians 5:12-13

• In this passage Paul is talking about how a Christian is supposed to interact with other
Christians vs. people who are not Christians. Paul tells us that it is our place as Christians to
judge and confront other Christians who are in sin, but we don't act in the same way towards
people who aren't really followers of Jesus. Why shouldn't we hold non-Christians to the same
standards that we hold Christians to? What should it look like to lovingly address sin in the
lives of our friends who are not Christians?

Read James 5:16

• A lot of times we need friends to call us out on our sin, because we might not even know it is
there. However, many of us have an intimate knowledge of the sin in our lives. This passage is
talking about confessing our sins in the context of healing, but how is confessing our sins to
our friends, who want to help us look more like Jesus, helpful to us?

• How can we cultivate a culture in our rGroup of being able to lovingly point out sin in the lives
of our friends, as well as being able to confess our sins to each other?

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Love Handles: Man-Eater vs. Man-Maker

Summary:

We typically attract the caliber person we are. Stop worrying about Mr. or Mrs. right and start focusing on Mr. or Mrs. you.

Questions:

-Read 1 Peter 3:3-4

This text calls women to be more concerned with who they are than what they look like. What does it look like for a woman to cultivate her soul rather than having an inordinate focus on externals?

-Read Genesis 1:27

What does it mean to be made in God's image and how should this shape an individuals identity and activity?

**Group Leader Aid: Being made in God's image means that humans are unique and set apart from the rest of creation. We bear God's image primarily in our person-hood: intellect, emotion, and will. There is a value placed upon us that is not ascribed to any other created being. Being this valued should cause us to act valuable.

-Read Acts 18:24-26

This text shows a man "competent" in the Scriptures being sharpened further by two women who were theologically astute (they read the Bible more than Buzzfeed). Ladies- Are you biblically literate enough to help sharpen others? Dudes- Would dating or marrying a spiritual beast of a woman intimidate you or help keep you in pursuit of Jesus?

-Read Proverbs 31:17

This woman is described as having dressed herself with strength. A logical question may be: "How are you working to strengthen yourself," but that is actually a lame question. Note that her strength was not developed in some kind of training...it was developed by her living! It is living obediently now that will strengthen you for later. Are you walking in obedience to Jesus at work, at school, in dating, in marriage, in finances? If not you are only getting weak.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Love Handles: King of the Castle

Summary: There are 4 responsibilities that we see from Ephesians 5 that men should be doing in their relationships: Accept responsibility, sacrifice, protect, and rely on God.  These are 4 things men should be striving for in relationships, and 4 things that women should be looking for in a man.  If you're married, these will be a good evaluation for your relationships to determine if you're on the right track.

Texts: Proverbs 16:9, 18:21, and 28:26.  Ephesians 5:22-30


1. Every Great King Accepts Responsibility for everything in His Kingdom. (Eph 5:22-24)
a.  What did Jesus take responsibility for?  Was it his fault?  
b.  What does the example of Jesus tells us about what we should do in our relationships?
c.  What does in communicate about a man that isn't willing to accept responsibility for things in his life?

2.  Every great king sacrifices for his kingdom (Eph 5:25-26)
a.  How did Jesus sacrifice for his kingdom?
b.  What ways do we sacrifice in our relationships?  What does our "sacrifice" communicate to the other people in our relationships?

3.  Every great king leads the fight to protect his kingdom (Eph 5:28-29)
a. How do you protect your kingdom with your time?  With your words?  With your influence?

4.  Every great king teaches his people that he relies solely on God. (Prov 28:26)
a. How did Jesus rely on God?  (Read Matthew 26:36-46) 
b. How can you communicate your reliance on God in your relationships?
c. In what areas of your life and relationships do you tend to rely on your own wisdom the most?  What areas are easier for you to rely on God?