Messed Up Church: Staying Married (South Fork Campus)

1 Corinthians 7:10-17

We may agree that marriages should be centered on God, but what does a marriage centered on God look like?

What does a marriage centered around good things (but not God) look like?

What other things does your marriage tend to be centered on?

When you center your marriage on things other than God – like passion, desire, attraction, compatibility, needs, etc. – and they fail, how does that play out?

Read 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

Why is there power in long term commitments?

Why is seeing the long term view important in making short term decisions?

What do you want your marriage to look like in 10 years? What are some of your long-term goals for your marriage?

What short term scenarios are you going through right now that need the long term view applied to them?

Read 1 Corinthians 7:12-17

How should you go about creating a vision for your long-term marriage?

(Focus on the pursuit rather than perfection.)

What's the danger in putting more focus on your "marriage" than on God and your spouse?

What do you think God's perspective of your marriage is?

How can you adjust your perspective to God's perspective?

Next Steps:

Identify the idols in your marriage that have replaced God. Confess and ask God to forgive you for putting other things before Him, and ask Him to help you pursue Him first.

Identify the things (other than God) that matter to you more than your spouse. Talk to your spouse, and ask forgiveness for putting your desires above theirs.

Redirect your plans and actions towards God's long term view of your marriage.

Announcements:

Communion is on Sunday, March 18th. (Please note: I had the date wrong last week.) We encourage all of the rGroups to take that week off from your Bible discussion, and instead do one of the following:
• Serve together as a group
• Host a party (with food) and invite others to come hang out with you.
• As a group, go be a part of something else going on in the city.

This Week's Prayer Topic: Love for ability to study scripture
Pray that you and our church will take God's Word seriously and study it diligently.

Messed Up Church: Single on Purpose (North Campus)

1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 26-35

What's the strangest gift you've been given? What did you do with it?

Read 1 Corinthians 7:7-9

What do these verses say about singleness?
(It's a good gift.)

Do we commonly think of singleness as a good gift? Why or why not?

Do Christians put too much emphasis on marriage as a key to fulfillment and happiness?

Singleness for many is a temporary season. Looking back, can you see any temporary seasons in your life that God used to do something important in or through you that wouldn't have been possible in the same way later in life?

Read 1 Corinthians 7:26-31

These verses mention several everyday things including relationships, our emotional states, our possessions and our jobs. Do you think Paul is intending for us to totally disregard those everyday things?
(No. Paul is saying we should live with such commitment to God's mission that it seems as if we have no concern at all for these everyday things.)

How does your day-to-day life reflect the urgency for God's mission described in these verses?

Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

These verses highlight God's purpose for singles. What is given as the reason for the gift of singleness?
(Undivided devotion to God.)

In what way are singles uniquely suited for living in undivided devotion to God?
(They do not have the responsibility of marriage.)

Can you think of an example in your life, or in the Bible, in which a single person used their gift of singleness in an important way for God's mission?
(Bible examples: Joseph (until later in life), Jeremiah the prophet, Ruth (for an important season), John the Baptist, Anna the prophetess, Martha, Paul, Jesus, etc.)

How can you avoid allowing a good thing (marriage) to take place of the best thing (devotion to Christ)?

Next Steps:

If you're single, have you been treating singleness like a good gift? If so, what is one way you can encourage other singles to do the same? If you haven't been, what is one thing you can do to change course?

If you're married, have you been encouraging the single people you know to live in undivided devotion to God? If so, how can you continue to do so? If not, what's one thing you could do to help singles use their good gift this week?

Whether married or single, all followers are called to live in devotion to God? What part of your life doesn't reflect devotion to God? What practical step can you take this week to bring that part of your life into line with God's urgent mission?

Announcements:

Communion is on Sunday, March 18th. (Please note: I had the date wrong last week.) We encourage all of the rGroups to take that week off from your Bible discussion, and instead do one of the following:
• Serve together as a group
• Host a party (with food) and invite others to come hang out with you.
• As a group, go be a part of something else going on in the city.

This Week's Prayer Topic: Love for ability to study scripture
Pray that you and our church will take God's Word seriously and study it diligently.

Messed Up Church: Great Sex

1 Corinthians 6:12-20, 7:1-4; Genesis 1:26-31, John 8:3-11

Please Note: Some may feel uncomfortable or even offended at discussing private issues like sex in a public way. But these are real issues people are struggling with, and asking about. Since this is a sensitive subject, be sure to use discretion in your conversation, especially if this is a mixed-gender group. You do not have to ask or discuss every question below. Use discernment and choose which questions are most appropriate for your group.

Icebreaker: Today/tonight, we're going to talk about sex. :-) Why might this be awkward?

Why do churches and Christians shy away from talking about sex?

What do you think about Pastor Nathan/Wesley directly addressing the kinds of subjects he did? Did he go to far? Not far enough? Just right?

What is the world's view of sex? Can you give some examples of the "lies" we hear in our culture?

Read Genesis 1:26-31. What are biblical truths about sex?
God designed sex. (v 26-28)
God has a purpose for sex. (v 28)
God has a positive view of sex. (v 31)

What are the problems with sex outside of God's design? What can be the consequences personally? For the family? For society?

Can there be such a thing as "casual sex?" Why or why not?
(1 Corinthians 6:12-20)

A recent Barna poll notes that 60% of Christians in their 20s and 30s believed that pre-marital sex is acceptable. Why do you think it is that high?

What advice would you give someone who is not married and tempted to have pre-marital sex?

How would you answer someone who says that living together is good preparation for marriage?

How does sex provide a "spiritual superglue effect?"

Why should we not judge others for their sexual immorality?
(John 8:3-11)

What hope would you offer to someone who tells you they are trapped in sexual sins?

Next Steps:

1. Examine your views on sex.
• Do you believe any lies?
• Are you in any sexual immorality?

2. Ask God for forgiveness and help.

Prayer:
Pray for you/those caught up in sexual immorality to find freedom.
Pray that God's truth will replace cultural lies about sex.
Pray for you to be of help (like Jesus) to those who are struggling/ashamed/outcast/etc.

Announcements:

Communion is coming up on Sunday, March 11th. We encourage all of the rGroups to take that week off from your Bible discussion, and instead do one of the following:
• Serve together as a group
• Host a party (with food) and invite others to come hang out with you.
• As a group, go be a part of something else going on in the city.

Weeks of Prayer
Remember how we did the 21 days of prayer as a church? Well, we want to keep that going, but with rGroups. Each week, we will post the prayer topic on the blog, and your group can pray together and individually about these subjects. These topics are not planned to coordinate with the sermon, so this is not meant to be a closing prayer. Determine how you'd like to pray as a group.

This week's topic is: Men and Fathers
The role of men in the home and in society is indispensable. We feel the pains of manhood gone wrong. Let's ask God to make our church a city on a hill in this regard. May our men be examples that set the standard for the men around them.

Messed Up Church: Great Relationships

1 Corinthians 7:17, Genesis 24:1-20

Read 1 Corinthians 7:17

No matter what our relationship status is, what does God want us to do, and why?
(God has called us to be faithful and honor Him. An intimate relationship with Jesus is the most important calling on our life.)

Read Genesis 24:1-4

Why didn't Abraham want Isaac to marry a Canaanite woman? What can you learn from this?
(Abraham wouldn't compromise Isaac's marriage with a pagan woman. God must be at the center of everything important in our lives.)

What idols do you tend to value in a relationship more than God?
(outward appearances, personality, abilities, etc.)

Read Genesis 24:5-11

Being in the right place at the right time is important to attaining God's blessings. What kind of places are you in that are clearly not where the Lord has called you? What about how you use your time?

Read Genesis 24:12-14

How do you pray for your spouse, kids, family, or friends? What kind of things do you pray for?
(Pray for your relationship, their relationship with God, protection from sin, perseverance in following God's will, their growth, etc.)

Read Genesis 24:15-16

Why is purity a beautiful attribute?
(Think about how God is holy, sinless, perfect, and what that means for us.)

What does purity look like in a woman/man? How does a woman/man of purity act, dress, think, and feel? And what does she/he do?
Philippians 4:8 - purity of thoughts and desires
Matthew 5:8 - purity of heart
Psalm 19:14 - purity of speech
Proverbs 31:30 - pure in appearance
1 Timothy 3:11 - personal discipline
1 Corinthians 6:18 - sexual purity 

Read Genesis 24:16-20

Why is the act of service a great indicator of love?
(We show love by serving others. Serving is the link between God's love for us and our love for others.)

Next Steps:

How can you apply Abraham's spouse searching technique if you are struggling in marriage?
(Put God first, pray, remain pure, and serve God and others.)

What is one goal you will commit to in your relationship, and what tactical next step will you take to achieve it?

What needs to be replaced or removed from your life in order to prioritize God first? Repent, ask God and others for forgiveness, and move forward.