Text Recap:
God wants us to love and respect other people, not just ourselves and not just Him. One way God makes sure that we really love each other, see God’s presence in each other, and listen to each other is by speaking to us through other people. So whether we like it or not, we need to pay attention to what other people are telling us because they may have the message we need to hear. The talks that Nathan (a prophet and spiritual advisor) has with David (an anointed king) gives us an idea of the way God speaks through friends and family. One of the most memorable examples is Nathan’s confrontation of David about his affair with Bathsheba and coverup-turned-murder of Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband and one of David’s top men (2 Samuel 12).
Considering this story and thinking about times when friends have spoken truth to you (or your friends and family), here is a short list of clues to indicate that someone is speaking God’s truth:
1- The messenger doesn’t have a personal agenda. The point of the conversation is to help you see truth.
Nathan opens his conversation with David by telling a story about a rich man with lots of livestock taking and killing the only lamb of a poor man. Nathan provokes outrage in David about this situation. He then explains that David is this rich man, behaving badly and contrary to God’s intentions despite having been anointed king, given wealth, and protected from his arch-rival Saul. The point of the conversation is not to score points with a rich man, manipulate him into acting a certain way, or extort money out of him. The purpose is to get David to see truth and begin the process of restoring his relationship with God.
2- A nagging concern is addressed.
At the time of Nathan’s meeting, David may have put the past behind him. At some point, surely, he struggled with the problem of getting another man’s wife pregnant. The affair and pregnancy bothered him enough to attempt to cover up the affair by bringing Uriah back from war and encouraging him to sleep with Bathsheba (Uriah’s wife), and then sending him to the battlefront to be killed after the first plan failed. At some point, David must have felt fear or regret even if he later pushed those emotions aside. So, whether David was presently wrestling with the problems of adultery and murder, it’s likely that he did have some major concerns at some point. The message from Nathan deals with this struggle.
3- The message is specific
After getting David to understand and admit his wrongdoing, Nathan lets him know specifically what is going to happen next. The prophet explains that God has forgiven him; however, the contempt David has shown for God will result in the death of his child with Bathsheba. Messages from God through other people don’t necessarily focus on condemnation. However, they typically deal with a specific concern, circumstance, or recommended course of action.
4- The messenger has unusual insight about your situation.
As far as we know, Nathan has not had much contact with David in the year or so leading up to this confrontation. He doesn’t seem deeply involved in the day-to-day activities of the King and his family. Still, Nathan comprehends what has happened, senses David’s emotional and spiritual condition, and tells a story that both illuminates the problem and resonates with David. When someone has a pulse on your situation, not only the facts but also the feelings, this person can guide you in confronting a problem and taking a step in a new direction.
Sometimes we get annoyed when someone complains to us, calls us out, or challenges us. It’s difficult to filter messages and easy to wish we were surrounded by a different, more compliant and supportive group of people. What’s tricky then is to know when we should be listening to our friends and when we should be developing a thicker skin. Nathan’s interaction with David and David’s response to Nathan gives us a guide for discerning truth.
Questions for Reflection:
1- Who do you take advice from in your life? Do you seek after advice, or do these people come to you and offer it in response to what they are observing about you?
2- When you read the story that Nathan told David, how did you respond? When we see wrongdoing and sin in the lives of others, we tend to get outraged and upset, demanding justice. When the sin is in our own lives, we tend to have a different response. What is the response, and why is it different?
3- Do you have a Nathan in your life? A person that you trust, that you allow to speak the hard truths in love to you? That you would humble yourself and listen to, no matter how hard it is to hear? Are you a Nathan in someone else’s life?
4- Has the Holy Spirit ever prompted you to speak truth into someone’s life? Were you obedient to the prompting? If so, how did the person respond? If you didn’t say anything to the person, what stopped you?
5- When someone confronts you with an issue in your life, what is your initial response? Get defensive? Cut them off? Accuse them of their sin and ‘return the favor?’ Listen with humility? Be open to what they have to say? Dismiss it?
Application/Challenge:
1- Learn how to deal with sin in your life immediately. Don’t let it linger, grow, or become callous to it.
2- Exercise humility in your life and welcome people that will speak truth to you, even when it hurts! Seek this people out.
3- Know what you are looking for in a friendship, so that your friends can help you become more like Jesus.
4- There are 4 criteria for me in my close friendships, 4 roles that I want to play and allow my friends to play in my life:
a. I want to KNOW them, and for them to KNOW me (the good, the bad, and the ugly!)
b. I want to CHALLENGE them, and for them to CHALLENGE me (you need friends to push you to become the man/woman that God has called you to be)
c. I want to CELEBRATE them, and allow them to CELEBRATE me (credibility, trust, and love are developed through these times, making it easier to receive the hard news when it is needed)
d. I want to SERVE them, and allow them to SERVE me (allowing other people to serve you involves humility, and serving others creates an attitude of selflessness in your life)
Daily Bible Reading (Monday-Saturday):
This week, let’s read a few different passages that illustrate biblical friendship.
Monday- Genesis 2:18 and Proverbs 18:1. (Solitude in life can be dangerous)
Tuesday- Gen. 5:24, 6:9; Ex. 33:11; Isa. 41:18; John 15:13-15 (Friendship is a theme throughout the whole Bible)
Wednesday- Proverbs 13:20; 16:28; 17:9; 19:6; 22:24-25; (Friendship is very practical)
Thursday- Proverbs 18:24; 19:4; 27:10 (Friendship is a covenant between 2 people)
Friday- Acts 2:42-47, 4:32-35; 3 John vs 15 (Friendship Develops Community in the Church)
Saturday- John 15:12-17; 1 John 1:3-4 (Friendship with God is our greatest joy)
5 Question Bible Study (to answer every day in response to the Daily Bible Reading):
a- What idea particularly strikes me from this text (note which verses it comes from).
b- What question does this text raise in my mind—and how would this text answer it?
c- What about Jesus—his character and/or redemption—relates to this text?
d- What action must I take as a result of this text? Be concrete and specific.
e- With whom will I share what I learned from this text?
SPEC for the Text
Sin to avoid
Promise to claim
Example to Follow
Command to Obey
“I Will” Statement…
-Based on this text, what is one specific, measurable thing you will do this week to live it out?
